mouthful of nickels

Good news: chemotherapy round two is down; fourteen to go. My hair is falling out so we cut it way back. It is strange how something so new can feel so old so quickly. The paradox of cancer is myriad.

We adore the oncology nurse who administers my four-hour infusion. Her empathy quotient is through the roof. She understands how these lifesaving drugs could kill me if not administered properly. For her, it’s not only real, it’s personal. She is a breast cancer survivor herself. During this week’s “red devil” push, I asked her a question:

Why is my mouth full of nickels?

She knew exactly what I was talking about. Toast, lettuce, bananas, granola, even chicken. Just about everything tastes metallic. Like a handful of change.

I know, gross, right? Let me give you the 5-cent tour…

Chemo drugs attack rapidly growing cells. Obviously, cancer cells are fast-growing. But other cells grow fast too. Like the cells on our tongue associated with taste. Couple this with some seriously wicked cotton-mouth caused by the lovely IV drip anti-nausea drugs, and viola, we’ve got a phenomena medical experts’ call dysgeusia, a persistent, unpleasant sensation of bad taste.

There ya go. Suddenly my metal mouth makes sense. All in bad taste!

So here we are: Thanksgiving. I am extra grateful this year, along with the creativity that goes into preparing for the feast. During tomorrow’s official Day of Thanks, I am anticipating Red Devil’s revenge. My shutters will be drawn and my better bucket nearby. So, today, while the good IV drugs still have a hold, we will celebrate with a fine organic turkey named Otto (who, only last week, was running around his free-range barnyard at our favorite local farm!) I will prep the seasoning rub, following my mom’s recipe to a tee. I will mash the cranberries and puree the squash. But, Caleb and Joshua, not I, will be our chief taste-testers, even as they prep the potatoes and dressing.

There’s safety in numbers, my friends. Diversity of tastebuds is a good thing.

My dear brave souled friends, YOU are #1 on my thank-you list to God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things good about LIFE. May you feel the blessing of those you love. Draw them just a little closer for me, will you? Celebrate the life you bring, and the life others bring to you. Love is, in the end, the only thing of infinite worth.

Oh, and don’t forget to raise a toast to taste!